NFL DRAFT: ROUND ONE

aka THE NIGHT OF TEBOW

I've never really been one to disparage ESPN coverage of anything, other than their stalkerish coverage of things like Tigergate, Bengate, and Will-The-Purple-Traitor-Come-Back-For-Another-Year-Or-Won't-He-Gate. My problem now is that I can't believe how clueless their analysts were during last night First Round of the NFL Draft. Steve Young was babbling all night, trying to be the star, and sounded like he was talking in circles all night, while trying to talk over everybody else. Gruden was the only sensible one, but he couldn't get Young to shut up long enough to make his points. (We here at Stout HQ are even pretty sure we heard Gruden telling Young to stop with the "dumbass comments" as they were coming out of one of the many commercial breaks). Berman seemed to sit there and egg them on a little bit. Jackson sat there looking drunk and dazed most of the night, until the very end when I think he had enough of Young's nonsense and decided to be the one to start talking over everybody. And everybody's favorite draft guru, Mel Kiper, was pretty much reduced to nothing during this whole adventure. This was all exacerbated by the fact that they would show draftees on the telephone before Roger Go(o)dell came up to the podium to announce the pick, taking most of the suspense out of what should have been an exciting draft.

Which brings me to my favorite (?) part of the night. The Ravens are on the clock with Pick 25. On the bottom of the screen, we see the graphic for pick traded, and the Raven turns into a Bronco. Next thing we know, we are magically whisked away to the magical Tebow Family Compound, where we see Tim "The Savior" Tebow on his phone surrounded by his Entourage of God. (Including the guy who was dressed exactly the same as Mr. Tebow, but I digress). As the Holy Wonder gets off his phone, him and his Army start putting on Bronco hats. While all of this is going on, Berman and Friends start flipping out because the RAVENS are drafting Tim TeJesus. They are all beside themselves with shock. They don't understand the pick! Then finally one of the Screaming Heads asks, "Who's on the clock?" They finally figure out what is going on, then Go(o)dell goes to the podium and announces the pick.

Now between every pick, the crew would talk a little bit about the previous pick, and start making "predictions" for the next pick, which in this case was Arizona. Only we had a little bit of a different treatment for this one. We get treated to Jeremy Schapp, in Tebow's house, interviewing him live for the ESPN cameras. Yes, we had a few other interviews of players selected during the draft, but this was by far the biggest and longest. My favorite moment of the interview was Tebow answering a question by saying he would give his "heart and soul" to the Denver Broncos. Wait a minute, how is that possible? Didn't he already give his "heart and soul" to a higher power years ago? Is he taking it back so he can give it to Josh "The Young" McDaniels?

Either way, ESPN's draft coverage last night was an EPIC FAIL!!!! Will tonight be better? Can they rein in Steve Young early tonight to make things more enjoyable for the viewer? I guess I won't know the answer, as I now plan to watch NFL Network's coverage. ESPN, you have successfully lost a loyal viewer for the evening.

So, this is all new for me, but I'm going to try this for a bit and see what happens. I'm probably not ever going to say anything extremely profound or anything, but I also hope that if anybody does read this it doesn't bore them to death. If that's the case, then that would mean that my life and thoughts just flat out suck, and I'm not necessarily okay with that. So i guess if i do bore any potential reader, then please be nice and don't actually tell me I'm boring. Maybe find somebody whose life and thoughts are more boring than mine and pass the link to my blog along to that person so that they can maybe get some excitement in their lives!

So, the thing that is really on my mind right now and has been for quite some time now is JD Drew. First off, yes I will probably have a lot of sports thoughts in this blog, so if that bores you, then go read another damn blog and leave me alone! Anyway, back to JD Drew. I don't think I have ever had as much of a love/hate feeling for a player as I do with him. As I watched him hit a beast of a home run against the Royals on Friday night that went to straight away center, it made me think yet again about what I really think of him as a player. I think that he has amazing skills. I think that he could be a superstar. I think he plays the game too nonchalantly for either of these thoughts to be relevant. There are too many times he doesn't come through in the clutch. He has had some great moments in his career, most notably the home run in the 2007 playoffs that made us think that he was finally arriving.
I guess what it all comes down to is that I am a closet JD Drew fan. There. I finally said it.